Friday, July 16, 2010

terrible person.

I really need to explain something to the world. 
You may think me a terrible person? Why, you ask?
Well, because I am NOT a dog person. 
Of course, I am not talking to you. 
I love your dog. Your dog is different. 
All those times your dog knocked over my child, ate one of her
toys, ran off with a dirty diaper when I was doing a diaper change and
yes, farted on me with his stinky fish farts( ha - you know who you are..), 
scratched me with his nails or put his butt in my face, 
I said to myself 'aww' and thought about rainbows and 
unicorns.  
I am not soulless : I really want to love your dog. 
I will positively reply to your pictures and pet and care about
him when I see him. But, the gig is up and I think it's time you know. 

Although, here is the part where I am actually blameless, as I 
show you my childhood dog, bipolar and purchased from 
a shopping mall. I remember only the inside of his mouth, 
and several instances where I begged 'please Fluffy' while
he repeatedly bit my butt in the hall corner. 
My sister is the big kid, and I, naturally, am the small crazy who 
looks a whole lot like my daughter. 
Forgive me for my movie pirating. 
Happy Weekend and a little Monsters of Folk for you. 

RIP fluffy from jaimee brant on Vimeo.

4 comments:

  1. When you say you don't like dogs... I'm assuming Charlie and Jack are exceptions to this ridiculous sentiment?

    ReplyDelete
  2. ha! I feel the same way... well, except Mister Beau P. Jangles. United in non-dog-personage. xo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ame, did you watch the video? 'Fluffy' is strikingly similar to Jackson.

    ReplyDelete
  4. And L dawg, I knew I liked you.

    ReplyDelete

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